Let’s start 2021 off with a beautiful memoir about resilience, courage, and hope. After all, that’s what got most of us through 2020, right? Well, that and a whole lot of home-made bread and knitting!
I picked up the book “The Buddhist on Death Row” by David Sheff just before 2020 ended. I browse the 100-300’s of our Non-Fiction section regularly, as I find reading about people's lives, struggles, histories, and religions to be fascinating. I grew up “in” the Anglican church, and was confirmed Anglican at age 16/17. These days, I sit more spiritual than religious; leaning Buddhist/Wiccan maybe. But that’s not what’s important here. I find it fascinating reading stories of people who have been through things I will likely never go through. I sometimes find myself being too self involved, or forgetting that people have lives after they leave my line of sight. I think it’s most likely a survival instinct; a way to not be overwhelmed by suffering that I can do nothing about. I don’t know. Either way, I am drawn to stories - and memoirs in particular - about cults, childhoods, prisons. So a book called “The Buddhist on Death Row” kinda jumped off the shelf at me. Then I found out that there was another book, a memoir by said Buddhist. So I read that first! Jarvis Jay Masters had a rough life. He grew up with more responsibility than any child should have to bear, and parents who were addicted to drugs, as well as violent and poor. At age 5 he was separated from his siblings as they were all taken into the system. For a while, Jarvis was placed with an elderly couple who epitomise all that the foster system should be, and his life was good. But due to their age and health, he was moved on into another foster home, and life began to spiral back down. Escaping from the abusive foster home led Jarvis deeper into the system. In and out of institutions over the next few years, he learned how to keep himself safe, and free from those who would abuse him. Eventually he was re-united with family, and drawn into the gang life, a situation that he makes seem far too common and understandable for poverty stricken youth. This life led him into and out of prison, and a longing for a family resulted in Jarvis being accused of a crime he didn’t commit - landing him on Death Row. I think what stood out to me throughout this book is that Jarvis doesn’t blame anyone else for his downward spiral. By that, I don’t mean that he falls into the trap of feeling like he caused all his problems, either. He is able to look at his life and the situations he was put in in such a way that you feel sympathy for all involved. His writing is remarkable. Finding religion in prison is really common, which makes sense. If you have nothing to cling to, and hours and hours of time with just yourself, finding meaning is logical. Jarvis explains how Buddhism not only gave him something to hold to, something to land on, but also how it allowed him to see his whole life in a new way. Reading this book left me feeling. I’m still not entirely sure what I was feeling, but it’s still with me, and I hope that it will influence me in some way. SOme way that will lead to me helping others. Content Warnings: language, violence, sex(?), gangs, abuse, drugs, awful people. Rating: 5 stars.
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Damaged, Nobody’s Son, Where has Mummy Gone, Cut, Another Forgotten Child
Fostering children has always been something I have been interested in, in part because of my fascination with the 300’s section of our libraries - true stories of people who have been through the worst in life and come out the other side. You hear so many stories about how kids in the system end up in the adult prison system, or on the streets. The idea of being able to help even a small number of people by offering a safe space has always appealed to me, I’m just not in a position to do it right now. These reviews are split into two, with the split being along the lines of format of the books. This review covers the books I have read by Cathy Glass that are audio books, which are read by Denica Fairman. A review of the other books I have consumed can be found on my blog. I discovered the books by Cathy Glass right before we went into lockdown here in NZ. In general, the books I pick up from the 300’s are a one-off, as they are memoirs, and there’s only so much one person can say about their life. These books are different, as they are the story of a number of children which the author has fostered over the years. With over 20 years of experience, I was impressed that Cathy still learned something new from each and every child, which helps keep the books from feeling repetitive. As I read each book, I learn something new about the system that is Social Services. While I understand that the system differs from country to country, it is fascinating to see how the system is interconnected and how the various departments work together, and how sometimes, the system does fail. You hear many stories about the system not working, and Cathy does a good job of showing that she too feels this at times, but also how it can happen; how big the system is, and how the many parts of the system are human, and that mistakes can happen. The more of these books that I read the more I want to read. I like that Cathy gives an insight into her own family as well as the foster children - the first book I read, Innocent, has her children as adults. As I picked up more and more books I gained a picture of the lives her children led and went on to lead. I won’t go into too much detail about these books, as doing so without spoilers is quite hard. I will just touch on anything that stood out to me. I think Nobody’s Son was the most painful for me to read, because of the situation the foster child encounters in the middle of the book. While it hurt, I still found it fascinating that such a situation could even occur. I think this is one of the situations where the changing of names was even more imperative that usual, as the ill-will towards the other parties involved would have been strong. I did like that Cathy told further into the life of the young man in this story, as his on-going struggles are important - life isn’t all rainbows and unicorns just because you have made it out of the short term foster system. Cut was a more vivid and intense situation than a lot of the following books, as it was about one of the very first foster children that Cathy took in. During this time she was still married, and her husband had a role in the care that took place. For a new carer, a child who sleepwalks and has deep seated and untreated trauma, Cathy manages to convey the fear and uncertainty she and her husband face. The audiobook reader for these books, Denica Fairman, is fantastic. I don’t know if they chose someone who was a warm, motherly type, or whether she holds any similarity to the author in any way, but the voice and the cadence and the general vibe is of a homely, motherly person, which I felt fits very well with the topic at hand. Content warnings: child abuse, some strong language, mental illness Rating (audiobooks): 4.5 stars |
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